Body language is a powerful tool

Listen to this article.

How to use body language to prepare for that interview that will take you to the next level.

You have got down to the last few for interview.  Yes! You have prepared well. You know your stuff, you have some succinct slam-dunk answers, you have rehearsed what makes you right for the role, you know how to message your distinctiveness, you have researched everyone in the room and what is important to them, you have been working on your confidence self-talk and coaching your inner critic. And you have the right outfit.  So what attention have you paid to preparing your body language at interview?  If you haven’t then you are not using one of the most important and powerful tools at your disposal to demonstrate your seniority and leadership capability.

If you are going for a senior role people want to see that seniority demonstrated at interview.  Of course, talking about your prior senior roles is important, but don’t fall into the trap of over preparing the content at the cost of ‘showing up’ as a serious leadership candidate.  Your non-verbal signals will outweigh the content always, and if the two are not aligned your body language is the message they will hear. Think ‘show’ not ‘tell’.  People trust what they see, not what they hear.  Those in the room are making assumptions about what you are capable of through your body language, regardless of what you are saying. Your job when going for a senior role is to give the decision makers in the room a sense of security in appointing you to a leadership role by being able to signal your authority.  This applies just as much if you are in a virtual interview or in-person. 

Why is body language particularly important for women in leadership? 

Body language can communicate status and authority and the opposite.  Women have been socialized to use the body language associated with a lower rank (like all primates sorry) and tend to use ‘pro-social’ body language like head tilting and condensing our bodies.  That can be a huge disadvantage when we need to signal our authority and leadership because research shows that a large footprint is something that is associated with social rank. The reality is that men and women still tend to be socialised to use their bodies in different ways.  We know this but we don’t know it consciously, because we have been learning it as toddlers. We are signalling and implying things all the time and we ourselves are also reading people’s body language all the time. Submissive postures like smiling and head tilting and making ourselves small serve us poorly when the body language that signals authority needs to be expansive. 

“So, we need to learn the body language of authority.”

Small changes make a big difference to signalling your authority and gravitas.

Small subtle changes can have a big effect in terms of the impact you make, and the status/authority people are prepared to give you.  I know it is rather primal but the ability to function effectively in a hierarchy is critical to managerial and leadership success. You might go ‘oh yuck hierarchy who needs it?’.  We all do, we feel safe when people behave in ways consistent with their rank. So, to be perceived as authoritative we need to occupy space. Lean back a little, slow down, if you speak quickly and too much, you send a signal of low status. Speak in complete sentences with a clear beginning and end point. Practice speaking slowly and succinctly. Hold eye contact when talking. Don’t tilt your head sideways, look straight on. Head tilting, excessive smiling, and looking around for approval are low status behaviours.  Women smile twice as much as men, so smile a little less when you need to signal seniority – low ranking people smile more because they are appeasing.  

Given authority is signalled by expanding into height and space, when you want to project leadership presence at a meeting, sit tall and claim your territory. Uncross your legs and place your feet firmly on the floor. Bring your elbows away from your body. 

The steeple gesture, where the tips of your fingers touch, is a sign that you’re sure of what you’re saying. Your leadership credibility is enhanced by using smooth, controlled gestures, control those fidgets just as keenly as you would your ‘ums and ahs’. Try when sitting just tilting your head back a fraction, not to look snooty or sneery, it is an age-old stage trick that signals status.

It won’t feel natural.

You need to be able to read your situation and commit to either being authoritative or warm. Decide during your interview when you might need to emphasise your seniority, leadership and authority and practice how you will signal that.  Practice doing it so it becomes more natural for you.  Observe how others do it and the impact they make. 

Body language is such a powerful tool, particularly for women when we need to beef up how people perceive us as authoritative which is not something that comes naturally to them or us.  So, it won’t necessarily feel natural!  Women can unintentionally undermine themselves by just doing what comes naturally. Practicing behaviours that don’t come naturally, to have the impact you need to have, doesn’t make you inauthentic. In this instance, it makes you a skilled leader who can manage your nonverbal cues. 

So practice! In a meeting, when you need to show up more authoritatively, try some of the above and get feedback from a colleague.  Keep working on it so you can deploy these tools when you need to in support of your leadership and to give those around you confidence in your seniority.  This doesn’t mean you don’t display warmth; all leaders need to be liked and respected, but keep the two in balance and body language can really help here. 

Before your interview practice with a trusted colleague, video yourself and build your repertoire so you can go into that meeting feeling confident and projecting confidence.  And in turn, you will give those in the room the confidence that you are just the leadership material they are looking for. 

To explore this topic further, I recommend Deborah Gruenfeld’s book Acting with Power 

And you can listen to my conversation with her on my podcast here.